Have you ever considered your parenting style and how that might change if you were a Grandparent? Let’s look at five different grandmother types:
What type of Grandma will you become one day?
1. The ‘ good times’ Grandma
This grandma wants to officially stomp out the fun police and party all of the time. Time spent with this Grandma is always fun and you can eat whatever you want at any time (including sweets). She can’t stand bickering so will give in and give the children free rein. She makes excuses for her lack of parenting by saying that she is a Grandma and she can spoil her Grandchildren if she wants to. She also knows that you need a babysitter and that she has the upper hand. Cheeky Grandma!
2. The Anxious Grandma
Because of the stresses of health problems, losses and other major life changes build up as we get older, we tend to become anxious. Some surveys suggest that one in five older adults suffer anxiety symptoms that require treatment. This is why there is the Anxiety Grandma. This Grandma will worry and stress about everything. She will be the one who calls you when there is a story on the news that involved a child and tell you to be careful. She is the one who will nag you about breastfeeding your baby what you are feeding your children and this is the Gran who will lose the car in the car park when taking the kids to the movies.
You will have concerns about your children’s’ increased anxiety levels around her, however, be sure to remember that your children view the world through rose coloured glasses and Grandma may be rosy.
3. The ‘Move over, I’ll do it’ Grandma
Some parents, believing that their adult children are too inexperienced to make decisions, try and insert themselves into their adult children lives. They inadvertently become “monster parents, grandparents”. They will interfere with what books you read your children down to how you feed your baby to how you raise your children. If you have parents who step beyond their boundaries, you will need to push them back in gentle, inoffensive ways. Before you do, you will need to decide whether your parent is over controlling or simply being concerned. Having controlling parents can wreck your nerves.
A difficult childhood is often the reason for a person’s erratic ways. Controlling parents may have manipulative parents themselves; have they grown up believing that controlling others is a given behaviour. Keeping this in mind may assist you when talking with your parent about stepping back.
4. The, ‘I have my own life’ Grandma
This granny is the complete opposite of the above and she has officially checked out of any forms of childrearing. She never offers to take care of her Grandchildren and will make you feel like you have asked way too much of her if you do ask for childcare assistance. She has raised her kids and now sees this time in her life as her Golden years, not her babysitting years.
5. The, ‘I never want to give them back’ Grandma
This is your Grandma to the rescue. She is able and willing to look after the children whether you are at work or stepping out for a personal appointment. This Grandmother loves nothing more than to spend the day with her grandchildren and smothers them in love all day long. This is the Grandma that your children will ask to visit and have sleepovers with and she is so wonderful with them that you will feel blessed to have her by your side.